Things Farmers/Peasants/Serfs/Villeins Say Contest

[Legacy_rjshae]

               

Careful now, your stereotype is showing. 

 

A statement commonly herd around the farm, no doubt. '>

               
               

               
            

[Legacy_CaveGnome]

               Burn !!! Burn the witch !
               
               

               
            

[Legacy_Frith5]

               

Well, let me see....

 

How exactly does one depict a 'generic NPC figure of a specific category, for use in a video game' without 'stereotyping'?

​

'>

 

Plus, how can anyone argue with 'a bomb in a bull' (abominable)?! Genius.

 

lol

               
               

               
            

[Legacy_SHOVA]

               

Get yer fool heads outa my field!

 

She thinks my scythe is sexy..

 

Damn cow is out a the barn

 

Who let the jackass out?

 

Where did I leave that torch and pitchfork?

 

I don't remember planting that...

               
               

               
            

[Legacy_Frith5]

               

Nothin' beats homegrown.

 

Would'ja look at the head on that thing?

 

Yipee-kay-ayyyy! Cow Patty!

               
               

               
            

[Legacy_Shadowing2029]

               

Just a little more and i can go to pub.

 

Damn, nobles wants mine cows for a feast.

 

Thanks (religion name) for this piece of land they gave me.

 

Urgh.. the heat is unbearable.

 

Damn, plow broke.

 

Next time im gonna kill that fox.

 

****!

The pub is closed.

 

"to female PC"

Wow they are like an cows.

 

"to male pc"

I could youse your strong back

 

Damn mine crops are ruined again.

 

"random name" is the wich, she cursed me to sleep with her.

 

Hell i am thirsty. I could you a beer, or three.

 

 

 

Drunk:

 

Huh... I am home yet?

 

Hic, when did army arrived?

 

Hey babe do you want some real man?

(female pc) "Slap"

Honey is that you?

 

Female farmer:

 

One more he comes home drunk i will use him as an fetrilizer.

 

All guys the the village are just Drunks.

 

Finaly some reliable man.

 

Whats with your boobs?

Yorur child would starve.

 

Your hips are too small to bear an child.

 

 

 

 

 

Little info. It the past christianity gave pieces of land to ex-soliders in exchange for wov to defend them in case of war.

               
               

               
            

[Legacy_rjshae]

               

"Gramps' been milking the bull again, I see."

"Ruddy neighbor's been pinching me cow pies."

"Saddle up the cart Ma."

"We dunna want to be late for market agin."

"That old fox got into the hen house and ate me prize rooster."

"I had a pet rabbit named Stew once. Sold it for a turnip."

"Broke me cobb pipe on it's 'ead, I did."

"Corr, who stinks o' lavender?"

"What I wouldn't do for a swig of 'ooch roight now."

"It's the foul rot, I says. Sure as I've seen it."

"Never seen an elf farmer before. Gives me the willies, it does."

"Mind the pig. It's a roight mean swine that one."

"The b itch 'ad her pups last night."

" Dogs 'n sheep living together. That ain't roight, I says."

"Cow's been dry since spring. Might 'ave to gut 'er."

               
               

               
            

[Legacy_Frith5]

               

Me bills is all due, an' the babies need shoes . . . but I'm busted.

 

Cotton be down, to a copper a pound . . . an' I'm busted.

 

Got a cow that went dry

 

Got a hen that won't lay

 

Got a big stack o' bills that gets bigger each day...

 

King's men'll haul my belongings away . . . 'cause I'm busted.

 

Went to me brudder's ta ask fer a loan . . . 'cause I'm busted.

 

Hate fer ta beg, like  a cur fer a bone, but I'm busted.

 

Me brudder said there ain't a thing I can do...

 

The wife and the kids are all down with the flu...

 

I was just thinkin' 'bout callin' on you . . . 'cause I'm busted.

 

Lyin' little turd.

 

Me back's broke like a shattered crock from this work.

               
               

               
            

[Legacy_Proleric]

               Don't hold with them new-fangled scarycrows.


Wheel, is it, now?


Crop rotation? Fool! Turnips won't grow upside down!


Crops fail, nothing to sell.

Crops glut, price goes down.

Who'd be I?


I seen a chicken run, but never a pig cycle.


I got mangelwurzels in me shed.


Us village idiots keep it in the family.


I got two magic beans for that cow, I tell thee.


Better a pig in a poke than a **** & bull.


More fun than a fortnight in Firkin Furlong.


The cuckoo of destiny flys over the thicket of confusion at ale o'clock.
               
               

               
            

[Legacy_SHOVA]

               

Sung as the farmer milks the cow: Give Betsy Give the babies gotta live!

 

Said by the farmers wife as she hangs the wash: Damn that man and giving me new clothes!

 

Said by the farmers son: I'm gonna snitch a mellon

 

Said by the farmers daughter: gee mister, my pa wont like it if we get naked....

               
               

               
            

[Legacy_Tarot Redhand]

               

Here's 20 random one liners. Some are (or are based on) real UK west country speech. Other's are based on the nonsense songs of Rambling Syd Rumpo, a fictitious folk singer played by the late Kenneth Williams (just look for the strange words). One other is based on the lyrics of the Marrow Song.

 

• Arr, Bert? 'E be mung-in' greebles, 'e be!


• 'eyup me beauties.


• Drink up zee zider.


• Nah-then me flower, me plum.


• Proper jarb.


• Get out of me mangle-wurzels you!


• Just you let go of my cordwangle afore I sick Rex on yer!


• Rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb.


• Dang Townies!


• Ooo, arr.


• Syd? 'E be a courtin' a bogler's daughter.


• Muck? You should see the grunge upon my splod!


• Oo-er! I've lunged my groats...


• Eee, go an' wurdle yer posset!


• Ol' Jones wur a wrong'un! 'E'd wurdle the ladies and scrope all the men!


• Well fiddle me grummets and scrumple me plume.


• Oh what a beauty, I've never sin a marrer that big afore.


• Watch out fer the drunken nurker.


• Thou canst stop eyeing me grey nog, thee can.


• So what yer got in yer gander-bag then?

TR

               
               

               
            

[Legacy_Frith5]

               

Them potaters got more eye than a beholder!

 

Smut! That's what it is, smut!

 

Durn kids... that's twice this year I've hadda dig a new outhouse pit.

 

Lad! Ho there, lad! Where'd are ye off to now?

 

<timeofday> to ye. Would ye mind taking yer clodhoppers outta my cabbages?

 

Treated the wife to a soulful ballad. No, wait. T'was a bowlful a salad.

 

Got that feller a potato clock, as he had to be to town by 8:30.

               
               

               
            

[Legacy_Grymlorde]

               

I'm building the prefab now. Please vote by "liking" your favorite ones. I'll make sure most if not all of the 'likes' are included.

               
               

               
            

[Legacy_ia.Pepper]

               

Oh, oh, I got one!

 

"No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die."

 

.....What?  '>

               
               

               
            

[Legacy_Shadowing2029]

               

Grandfather: I too liked the pub, but i changed.

Grandma: Dont lie old fool, you just cant walk there anymore.

 

 

Butcher(To large body type): Ha you look like that pig i butcherer yesterday.

 

 

Peasant(with sheep): Just dont let mine wife know about this ok? (gives few coins and walks away)

 

 

Old Mearchant (to woman):(stares at boobs.) Do you want to be mine assisant?