Shabby Hyena Real Estate brings you this Great New Deal!
Yes, this wonderful new residence with a very desirable ocean view can be yours for just five chests of gold!
With convenient beach access - those aren't sharks, they're just, er, rocks - and a much sought-after "olde worlde" look, this excellent property is a real bargain!
You just can't afford to miss this once in a lifetime chance to become the proud owner of a home with real character.
It must have real character because it reeks of fish and maritime silt.
This desirable seaside property comes with ample cellar storage - well, we say cellar, more just piles of rubbish in the gaping space underneath it - and has ladder access to its characterful raised door of mouldy old sailcloth. Guaranteed to be propped up on enough old timbers (probably) to stop it falling over in bad weather like it used to.
Complete with all the latest conveniences and fittings of a de luxe residence - such as a bent tin chimney and a window made of glass we'll assume was a cargo that somehow miraculously survived the wreck better than the ship itself.
Yes, be the envy of your neighbours on the next island a hundred miles away. It's a cut above the ordinary hovel!
Buyer may experience some minor damp problems when the tide comes in.
