Custom Content Challenge: April 2015 (for real): The Small Details

[Legacy_Proleric]

               

Having exercised admirable restraint in recent months, I have failed dismally, by submitting two books.

One old, one new, somewhat borrowed, nothing blue.


It's just an erf wrapping these texts as book items:


The Book of the Courtesan

   Spoiler
   

THE BOOK OF THE COURTESAN


Very necessary and profitable for young Gentlewomen and Gentlemen abiding in Court.


Imprinted at the sign of the Hedgehog.


A BRIEF REHEARSAL OF THE CHIEF CONDITIONS AND QUALITIES


To appear well born and of good stock.


To be amiable in countenance.


Not to boast of her acts and good qualities.


To shun affectation.


To do everything as though it comes naturally to her, not learned with study.


To seem not to mind greatly what she has in hand.


Not to carry about tales and trifling news.


Not to give offence unintentionally.


Not to be stubborn, wilful, saucy, spiteful or contentious without cause.


Not to be a babbler, brawler, or chatter, nor lavish of her tongue.


Not to be given to vanity.


No liar.


No fond flatterer.


To be well spoken.


To be wise and well seen in discourses upon states.


To adapt herself to local manners, wherever she travels.


To reason soundly upon every subject.


To speak every language well.


To direct all things to a good end.


Wherever she goes, to contrive that people have a good opinion of her before she arrives.


To befriend persons of the best sort, and with her equals, and be beloved of her inferiors.


To play at dice and cards, not wholly for money's sake, nor fume and chafe at her losses.


To play chess, but not seem over-cunning.


To be handsome and clean in her apparel.


To choose her garments after the fashion.


To choose a special and hearty friend to accompany her.


To have the virtues, such as justice, courage, wisdom, and temperance.


To be more than indifferent in learning.


To confess her ignorance and lack of skill when appropriate.


To show her feats and qualities only at the request of others.


To speak realistically, lest she be counted a liar in reporting wonders.


To draw and paint.


To dance well, without over-nimble footings or busy tricks.


To sing well.


To play upon the lute and viol.


Not to use sluttish and ruffian-like pranks with anyone.


Not to become a jester or scoffer to put anyone out of countenance.


To be skilful in martial arts, both on horseback and afoot.


To fence well.


To be nimble and quick at tennis.


To hunt and hawk.


To ride and manage her horse well.


To swim, leap, run, vault and wrestle well.


Not to compete with locals, unless she is sure of victory.


To wear bright, rich clothes and trappings of merry colours in processions, to impress the people.


To disguise herself in masquerade on horseback or afoot, and seem the opposite of what she really intends.


To undertake her bold feats and courageous enterprises, by herself, but in the sight of the most noble personages, and (if it be possible) before her prince (by whom we mean that lord or lady whom she serves).


Not to risk herself in foraging and spoiling, or in enterprises of great danger and small estimation, even when she will surely

gain by it.


Not to wait upon or serve a wicked and naughty person.


Not to seek to come up by any naughty or subtle practice.


Not to commit any mischievious or wicked act, even at the will and commandment of her prince.


Not to follow her own fantasy, or disobey her prince, unless she is certain to profit by it.


Never to be sad, melancholy or solemn.


Seldom or never to ask her prince for anything for herself.


To be honest and reasonable when asking for others.


The final end of a courtesan is to become an instructor of her prince, inclining them to virtue, abhorring flatterers, and to be

frank and free.

A Shaggy Dog Story

   Spoiler
   

A Shaggy Dogge Story


by William of Baskerville


In the Time of King Uther Pendragon was a vile Prison made in the place called Amply, that divers naughty persons might be confined a goodly way from the city of Avalon, there to reflect upon their malefaction.


Amongst many others cast into this Denne of misery, there was a certaine Scholar brought thither upon suspicion of Conjuring, and he that by Charmes and devilish Witchcrafts had done much hurt to the King's subjects, which Scholar, despite his Devils, Furies, Spirits and Goblins, was by the famished Prisoners eaten up, and deemed passing good meat.


This being done, such an idle conceit possessed the mindes of the poore Prisoners, that they supposed nightly to see the Scholar in the shape of a Blacke Dogge walking up and down the Prison, ready with his ravening Jawes to tear out their Bowels, for his late human flesh they had so hungerly eaten, and withall they hourly heard (as they thought) strange groanes and cries, as if it had been some creature in great paine and torments.


In which desperation they killed the Keeper, and so many of them escaped forth, but yet whithersoever they came or went, they imagined the Blacke Dogge to follow.


Now it happened that when King Uther died, his son Arthur tore down the Prison, and set a noble watchtower upon the river at Amply in its stead.


Yet Folk thereabouts, being country-simple and for the most part ignorant, do swear that a Black Dogge still roams the night, naming it "Shag", "Shuck", "Shock" or "Knocker" as their fancy takes them.


"Thy hands are as blacke as Amply's Knocker", says every mother to her childe.


"Shucks, ye'll get a Shock if ye claps eyes upon the Shag" greets the varlet that sups ale over-long in the hostelry of an eventide (by which it is conveyed that a sober Man abed by sunset courts no Injury, yet withall a homeward Drunkard may stumble in the dark, or else be set upon by naughty folk).


The confusion of mind amongst such persons may be judged thus. In their fancy, Shag may be seen by night alone, at which Time naught can harm the beast, nor can the beholder live to tell the tale. Gentle reader, if none might see the Shag but they die, from whence cometh this witness? For if witness be there none, who then can vouchsafe that Shag there be? Moreover, if none may see by day nor slay by night, this is a stout beast indeed!


Thus it is that wise men speak of a Shaggy Dogge Story, that is to say, a Tale of a **** and a Bull.

 

These are very loosely adapted from antique texts which are free for non-commercial use.

 

EDIT : The last line is uncensored in the erf (the swear filter on this site needs to get a life...)

               
               

               
            

[Legacy_The Amethyst Dragon]

               

@kuronue bloodlust 64 x 64 is the pixel size. Each square in the inventory is 32 x 32 pixels. Therefore my icons are 2 x 2 inventory size which does not match the standard Bioware books. To be honest, I have found that dds can (but not necessarily will) lose detail. These textures have been visually inspected and appear to be identical to the png illustrations I posted.

 

TR

Standard BioWare book inventory icons are 2x2 (64 x 64 pixels). '>

               
               

               
            

[Legacy_The Amethyst Dragon]

               

"When ya gotta go, ya gotta go."

 

               
               

               
            

[Legacy_rjshae]

               

Apparently the typical medieval toilet consisted of little more than a bench with a circular hole cut out, and a bucket underneath. The fancy garderobe was saved for the castle... which did away with the bucket entirely by dumping the refuse outside. Fine plumbing for the hoite-toity types.

               
               

               
            

[Legacy_Pstemarie]

               

I'm buried in exams - figures they'd be the same week I was on vacation from work at the school - and work at the restaurant. Therefore, I won't have the prefabs ready for the end of the month. However, I will send them along to TAD so he can add them to the listing once they are complete. 

               
               

               
            

[Legacy_kuronue bloodlust]

               

Apparently the typical medieval toilet consisted of little more than a bench with a circular hole cut out, and a bucket underneath. The fancy garderobe was saved for the castle... which did away with the bucket entirely by dumping the refuse outside. Fine plumbing for the hoite-toity types.

The greek empire were the first massly plumed homes compelte with runing faucets, but most of their marvels were lost when they went belly up thanks to the Romans... would have been nice if Romans had keept the homess intact neough to learn how to emluate the plumbing. I am willing to bet wodden and canvis windmills were used to pump water.

               
               

               
            

[Legacy_Tarot Redhand]

               

@AD Oh bu$$er! I'll get a corrected set of files to you soon.

 

TR

               
               

               
            

[Legacy_The Amethyst Dragon]

               

Apparently the typical medieval toilet consisted of little more than a bench with a circular hole cut out, and a bucket underneath. The fancy garderobe was saved for the castle... which did away with the bucket entirely by dumping the refuse outside. Fine plumbing for the hoite-toity types.

 

I figured D&D folks might be advanced enough for a wooden bench with a circular hole cut out, with a hole in the ground underneath, inside a plain wooden box. '>

 

I've actually seen such outhouses in person (they'd been abandoned for at least 50 years out in the woods). Not modern tech at all. Dig a hole, plop the entire outhouse on top, move outhouse when hole is full, cover it up and start a new one. '>

               
               

               
            

[Legacy_kuronue bloodlust]

               

I figured D&D folks might be advanced enough for a wooden bench with a circular hole cut out, with a hole in the ground underneath, inside a plain wooden box. '>

 

I've actually seen such outhouses in person (they'd been abandoned for at least 50 years out in the woods). Not modern tech at all. Dig a hole, plop the entire outhouse on top, move outhouse when hole is full, cover it up and start a new one. '>

they still use them in alaska where pipes freezing can be a big issue with having a waste treatment palnt.

               
               

               
            

[Legacy_Tarot Redhand]

               

<New! Now with added HAK goodness>

 

Updated version sent in.

 

TR

               
               

               
            

[Legacy_PLUSH HYENA of DOOM]

               

The Altar of Ultimate Evil (not that anyone actually calls it that in the Module), was required for my current project and, having finished hitting it with a malign, cursed brick in evilmax, it occurred to me that it could be loosely fitted into this month's theme so I'm sticking it in the Big Bag with everything else.

Pretend there aren't two pointlessly similar screenshots here, but after fifteen minutes of growling at myself in confusion over not knowing which one showed the nasty, altary thing better, Fifi told me to just go and post both and stop annoying her with my eerie cretinism.

More debased rubbish still to come from Hyenaville this month...

               
               

               
            

[Legacy_Shadowing2029]

               

Books are ready

               
               

               
            

[Legacy_Shadowing2029]

               

Yes there are kamasutra and the bible

               
               

               
            

[Legacy_PLUSH HYENA of DOOM]

               

And just to assure you that the Animal Statues aren't ALL rampaging predators...

And just to assure you I am perfectly sane and in no way a Gibbering Fruitbat, I shall now NOT shriek something very silly, like "Bogflarb" or some equally rancidly mental thing...

"BOGFLARB!"

Damn.

               
               

               
            

[Legacy_PLUSH HYENA of DOOM]

               

Yet more Hyena Rubbish...

Not that it's actually the exact shape of a Hyena or anything...

A range of PHoD Waystones, intended to be placed at intervals along significant trails, pilgrim routes, etc, to reassure whoever or whatever may be following the trails that they're going the right way.

But they can equally be used as whatever standing stone sort of things you want. Some have places to put little offerings or a skull or flowers or a lump of clay or whatever such things you feel compelled to put on them. All are borderline strange.

Some of them might make interesting memorial markers or something too. Or just disproportionately large and unnecessarily weird paperweights. Or you can use them as Placeable Trees. Of course, you'll fool precisely nobody that they are trees and you'll make yourself look a wee bit silly, but you COULD do it, futile as it would be.

Or you can just ignore them completely.

Ten different Waystones will be in the Big Bag of Hyena Stuff... well, nine and the Totem of Ultimate Evil to go with the Altar of Ultimate Evil (see above).