My one remaining question: is there a good basic guide to feats? Was looking for guides to the different classes, and am battling to find a digestible presentation of worthwhile feats.
The real only guide is Wizards of the Coast 3rd edition Players Handbook.. 
'>
You will also find some value in the PDF documents in your NWN1 and NWN2 folder.
However I am going to suggest taking a break from optimization of the experience. Don;t work so hard - enjoy the story and game for its sake
In IWD and BG for NWN2 you will start low level and graduate up to "middling level" ~ you wont mess up your builds.
Conceptually use the generic D&D party so you have capabilities for all situations.
~ have a real robust Fighter (type) with lots of STR, good armor and as high an Armor Class as possible. Invest in combat feats from the options menu.
~ have a wizard spell caster (type) with lots of (INT/CHA) and magic items. You have to micromanage your spell caster a little bit through the game. Protect them from close combat and use spells to shield them from damage. Invest in meta magic and crafting magic feats.
~ have a healer (type) Cleric or Druid with lots of WIS. They buff heal the party and are your 2ndry fighter type. Invest in divine feats that increase damage / improve ac / heal party / improve undead turning.
~ have a thief (type) with lots of DEX. This toon could also be your 2ndary fighter type if you invest in combat feats (weapon finesse, short swrods, and 2 weapon fighting) but above all lead the party identifying traps and safe zone. Sneaks around. Opens locks.
Now for your other party members ?
~ add muscle if you dont like micro managing the AI and party. add magic casters if you like micro managing your party a bit before encounters. Add blended classes if you want a bit of both i.e Paladin / Ranger have some useful minor casting and healing spells to go with the muscle.
Bottom line enjoy it and save often with/in multiple spots ~ you may find different strategies to handle an encounter that you prefer.
