Fractured Fable number 1

[Legacy_Tarot Redhand]

               Unfortunately I have not been able to come up with a viable idea for this months ABC. I had thought to make a module length cut-scene as a proof of concept expecting the finished "movie" to last no more than say 5 minutes. I then sat and wrote the script for this. Upon finishing it I realised that it would be much too long. Rather than binning it, I have decided to post it here as a short storey while giving anyone who wishes to do so my express permission to use this in whatever way they wish.

Now before I start, Rolo put that coffee/blancmange/whatever down.

A Fractured Fable being the sole work of Tarot Redhand

Once upon a time, long, long ago…
               
               

               
            

[Legacy_Tarot Redhand]

               There was a woman washing her family’s clothes on the bank of a river.
As she walked back to the river for the umpteenth time her foot struck a hard object.
Looking down she saw that a bottle had washed up on the shore.
Peer as she might she could not see what, if anything, the bottle contained.
So, at long last she plucked up the courage and opened the bottle.
Sure enough out popped what appeared to be a genie.
"Thank you woman" said the genie. "Many long years have I languished inside that vessel."
"For your kindness I will grant you a boon - a wish if you will."
"But my lord, I am a happily married woman with all that I ever dreamed of. I have no need of such a bounty." said she.
"Then I must kill you!" said the genie. "It is quite clear in the genies charter. It says 'Any who refuse your gift must die!'"
Taken aback by this, the woman thought quickly. Finally she decided to ask for something that she thought would be impossible.
"I wish that clothes would never get dirty again." She said just as the genie reached for her throat.
At this, the genie lowered its hands. It then slowly started to turn red and to grow hotter.
Just when the woman thought that it would explode, steam shot out of its ears and the genie returned to its previous colour.
"It is done," said the genie "but only for your village. Alas I have been in that bottle so long that some of my power has leached away."
With that the genie faded from view. When the woman had gathered her wits she went timorously to the pile of unwashed clothes.
And lo, they were clean. At this she rejoiced. But as we all should know by now, there were consequences. There are always consequences. 
               
               

               
            

[Legacy_Tarot Redhand]

               About a week later the owner of the village laundry was beginning to get very worried. Nobody was using their facilities.
No-one except the local school of wizardry that is. Realising this the laundry owner went to visit the head magus of the school.
"Most revered master," said he "I have a dire problem which I believe only one such as yourself can answer."
"What might that be?" enquired the wizard (a rather handsome chap if I might say).
So the laundry owner explained how everyone except the wizards and apprentices had stopped using his facilities.
"Most peculiar" said the wizard. "For a mere 50gp, I will find out what is causing this."
"Should what I discover be reversible I will do so for a further appropriate fee."
So the laundry owner passed the wizard the 50gp (even though it pained him greatly, being as he was likened unto a ducks poo hole). 
               
               

               
            

[Legacy_Tarot Redhand]

               Two days later the laundry owner was summoned to the wizards presence.
"Having consulted with various spirits and oraculi, I have determined the cause, if not the source, of your problem." Announced the magus.
"Yes?" enquired the laundry owner. "I had my suspicions and now they are confirmed." said the wiz.
"The cause of your bane is an ill thought-out wish. I suspected as much when I realised that my own clothes got grubby at their normal rate."
"Why would that cause your suspicion?" asked the laundry owner. "There is a little known consequence of being magically gifted."
"Our queen Mabadab, she who grants our power, was forced to decree (by the other immortals) that no arcane practicioner, greater or lesser, would be affected by the power of a wish."
"This does present problems and yet grant a devious solution to your problem if you are willing to meet my fee of 500gp." spake the wizard.
"That seems a bit steep!" said the laundry owner, "However, I do not see that I have a choice. You perform whatever spell you have to and I will meet you in the red unicorn with your money."
"Before you go I must advise you that my spell will of necessity affect you as well, seeing as the wish worked on your clothes the same as everyone else's."
"Oh and I need you to bring me a small sample of the villages salt supply. Send word when you are ready to meet with me in the inn."
With that the wizard dismissed the laundry owner, who immediately fetched a handful of salt for the wizard. 
               
               

               
            

[Legacy_Tarot Redhand]

               While the wizard researched and prepared the great spell, the laundry owner schemed. He did not want to have to pay the wizard one bald groat let alone the fee demanded.
He decided that once the wizard’s usefulness was expended, then would he be killed. The laundry owner threw a feast in the inn and as well as all the villagers,
He gathered a band of desperados. All were wined and dined lavishly (at least in the laundry owners eyes). At last word came through to the laundry owner that the wizard was on his way to collect his fee. "Huh!" thought the laundry owner, "He was going to stiff me - nothing's changed!"
Just as he thought that "Parp!". "Parp, parp!". Soon the whole room was echoing to the sounds of "Parp, parp, paaarrrrrrrrp, groan".
The stench was astounding. In walked the wizard with a peg on his nose. Obviously he had anticipated the results of his handiwork.
With his own stomach roiling, the laundry owner said to the wizard "What have you done? Paaaarrrrrp!"
"I realised that whatever I decided to do to help you, you would try to evade paying me my just reward. In fact I suspected that you would probably try to have me killed."
"In this case I thought I would kill 2 birds so to speak and provide a solution to your woe and incapacitate whoever you had hired."
"You now owe me 1000gp" said the wizard who sat to await his gold. "Yes but precisely what have you done to us? p-p-paaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp!" wailed the laundry owner.
"Why I simply imbued all the salt in the village with the properties of Epsom salts and senna pods." Grinned the wizard. "By doing this I have negated the wish because you are all creating a magically induced stinking cloud!" So saying he smiled smugly and took his pipe out of his robe. It took three tries, but he managed eventually to get it to light using his magic. Unfortunately, the consequence of this action only took three nano-seconds.
Kwablewie-boom.  
               
               

               
            

[Legacy_Tarot Redhand]

               "You can still see where the village used to be. The crater filled with water soon after and it's that lake over there." Said the tutor finishing his tale. He was immensely old and his white hair grew in strange tufts. "Now my young pupil, have you discerned the moral of this tale?" The youngster paused then answered, "Smoking is dangerous?"
With a weary sigh his tutor responded, "I'm 637 and smoked all my life. I've only had the one bad experience and I learned from that I can tell you. So try again."
"Is it be careful what you wish for, master?" The tutor looked approvingly at the youngster before him but still shook his head saying "That is one moral perhaps but not the one I am thinking of. Any more suggestions?" The pupil looked at their feet and shook their head mumbling "Sorry no."

The tutor took pity on the child and said, "While I realise that morals can be a tricky subject, in this case I think it is quite clear that the moral is -"

"A windy ill blows everybody up!"

Speaking to himself the tutor said "And it took years for my hair and beard to re-grow!"

TR 
               
               

               
            

[Legacy_Tarot Redhand]

               The above is completely my own work. I do have a couple of other such tales but they were originally written by others. So this is my gift to the people working diligently on modules and hopefully I'll be able to come up with something next month.

TR
               
               

               
            

[Legacy_Tarot Redhand]

               If you groaned  (but secretly liked the above) you might want to check out the short storey by Isaac Asimov that this wikipedia page refers to, cos it certainly made me groan (and secretly smile while rolling my eyes).

TR