Aleron wrote...
Your name looks familiar, but have you tried World Serpent Inn? I get the feeling you might have but in case not, figured would throw it out there. 
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We mostly fit your criteria from what I can see, though my view is a little biased on some of those as I imagine your own vision of what you want is. Basic information: we only use CEP 2.3 for haks, Max level 30 (minus ECL if you play one of those races), most of the server is set in FR with the other half more planescape, there are some small changes to spells but most are improvements for more lackluster ones.
Here is the Vault Page:
nwvault.ign.com/View.php
Also the Forum Link:
www.worldserpentinn.com/
Good luck with your search. 
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Yeah, he's been there at least on the forums before, thus why I didn't post on this thread actually.
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