Now Closed - Divine Fools - A Write Contest

[Legacy_icywind1980]

               

It's not that much of an effort to write 250 words. Even an old game should be worth spending some time to write a few words. Also if you don't write for the sake of writing, where's the fun? It will just become a tedious task. The journey should be the reward.

The only problem is having enough time to write.

If I have enough time this weekend, I'll write something for this contest, but I can't promise that I will.

 

I'm not really a pro writer. I also don't find it fun, especially since I'm knees deep in exams. But I am totally motivated by the chance of freebies (provided it is something I can actually run on my craptop). But if someone else is interested in this, and enjoys writing than they should totally do it.

               
               

               
            

[Legacy_Zwerkules]

               

Here is my little story. It has more words than 500 (over 1100) but you, Tarot,

did not set an upper limit, so I didn't feel the need to shorten it.

 

 

Lorna heard a voice in her head. That is not to say that she was crazy.

She was a ranger - and a damn good one. She had learned to communicate

with animals telepathically. So something that for other people might

mean that they went around the bend only meant that an animal was talking

to her.

"Get me down from here!" the voice in her head commanded.

The problem with voices in your head is that you can never tell where

they are coming from. Lorna looked around but didn't see any animals

except for a few insects; and she had never learned how to communicate

with those.

"Up here, you bloody oaf! How long are you going to keep me waiting?

Get me down at once!" The voice in her head was getting louder and a

little impatient. Lorna looked up and spotted a ginger cat on a branch

about six feet above her head.

"Yes, genius, I'm talking to you! Get me down, you useless biped!"

"What are you doing up in that tree?" asked Lorna.

"Not that it's your business, but I like to start my day killing a few

birds or playing cruel tricks on mice. The stupid things are so easily

scared and it's a lot of fun. You should try it sometime!

Anyway, I saw a bird on this branch and tried to sneak up on it to bite

off its head, but it escaped."

"If you got up there all by yourself, you certainly can climb down again!"

"Of course I can. But you don't really think I'm going to do that if there's

an inferiour species around who can help me down. What else are stupid

bipeds good for?" the cat sneered.

"You think insulting me is a good way to get me to help you?" Lorna asked

with an undertone of anger in her voice.

"You stopped communicating telepathically. Probably because it gives you a

headache if you do it for too long. You're an inferiour species and your

brain isn't meant for this. I however are a god!"

Lorna laughed.

The cat hissed. "What are you laughing at, you blubbering idiot? I am a cat,

so I am a god! The funny thing is that the slave-creature who feeds me and

cares for all my needs thinks she's a goddess, too. She looks like a human

to me. Admittedly she doesn't smell as bad as a human."

"Oh, so now you are telling me that humans stink?" Lorna shot an angry look

at the cat, though by this time she felt like shooting an arrow instead.

"Of course they do!" replied the cat. "Why do you think we cats lick ourselves

clean each time we've been petted by a human? We have to get rid of the bad

smell."

"Then why do you let them pet you in the first place?"

"It's a small price we have to pay for three meals a day and a warm place to

sleep. I'd prefer it if I didn't have to let them touch me, but humans forget

to feed you if you don't show them some affection by purring like a kitten.

It is not entirely their fault that they smell so bad though. Their design is

seriously flawed. How can a creature that can't lick its own genitals clean

be expected to smell good? Even the stupid barkers can do that! My ancestors

got the creation of your species totally wrong! I could do a much better job!"

"Hah! You can't even get down a tree without help!" the ranger replied.

"How dare you insult me?" the fourlegged 'goddess' snarled. "You were made to

serve us cats, so get me down right now or suffer the consequences!"

Lorna laughed. "I think the consequences will be that you'll still sit on that

branch of yours while I'll be on my way back to my cabin. But maybe I'll give

you some incentive to jump down. Cats always land on their feet and the way down

isn't too long." With these words Lorna nocked an arrow and aimed at the branch

below the cat's paws.

Before she could let go of the arrow however, a lightning bolt hit the game trail

in front of her missing her only by a few inches. A female voice that seemed to

come from everywhere all at once yelled: "You dare attack my pet? For this I will

curse you! From this day on you'll never hit a target again."

And so Lorna's troubles began...

  After these events the ranger was never again able to hit a target. She had a

lot of different jobs, but her heart was never in it and she quit after only a few

weeks or months.

One day a travelling circus came to the small town near the forest in which Lorna

lived. She went to watch one of their shows and when she saw the clowns she had an

idea. After a short talk with the manager, Lorna joined the circus as a clown.

People laughed a lot when her arrows missed the apple on the head of another clown

and hit various pots and pans instead or got lodged in the ringmaster's top-hat.

Things got a little hairy when an adventurer in the audience took an arrow to the

knee, but the ringmaster paid him a few gold coins and he limped away without

causing any trouble.

From that day on it was all just fun until somebody lost an eye.

After hitting an old man right in the eye, Lorna had to leave the travelling circus.

She joined a group of adventurers to seek glory and fame like she used to before she

got cursed - it did not end well.

Lorna was very skilled at fighting with two weapons, so she was a useful addition to

the band of adventurers even though she could not use her bow, but each day she longed

to shoot arrows to a point where it almost became an overwhelming desire.

One day they were fighting a group of bugbears in a cave and Lorna fell back a little

and sheathed her blades. She figured that even if she missed an opponent the chance

of hitting one of her companions instead was so much smaller. An explosive arrow that

hit the walls somewhere near the enemy would still do some damage, so she shot one

of those arrows at the bugbears.

It hit a column of rock that supported the cave's ceiling. The bugbears died, but so

did everybody else except for Lorna. By a miracle she was not hit by any boulders and

managed to leave the cave alive. What the ranger didn't know was that she couldn't die

before her curse was no more. She escaped many situations which would have been

certain death to others, but it was only when she met the other divine fools that she

found out why.

 

               
               

               
            

[Legacy_werelynx]

               

Cats... hard to hate 'em, no reasonable grounds to love 'em.

Pretty nice story, I appreciate (maybe unintentional) cat themes.

I, for one, welcome our new cat overlords.

               
               

               
            

[Legacy_Tarot Redhand]

               

Just a little reminder. This competition ends tomorrow (Thursday 10th December 2015) at Midnight (00:00 GUT aka GMT). Here are the adjustments for local times.

 

TR

               
               

               
            

[Legacy_Tarot Redhand]

               

Less than 12 hours to go if you wish to enter. (As it stands ATM, anyone entered is a winner).

 

TR

               
               

               
            

[Legacy_AndrueD]

               

This nice idea you have.  I like to write story since have idea but not for winning prize.  Need sister to always fix my English cuz she the only family who got money for language class.  But she not here for 3 week so when I post topic be prolly old.  That ok for me tho.  Hope that getting English fixing ok else I need to write português to be very clear. It just fun to do to help me learn English faster. 

 

Still I like idea and should maybe be done on month or more regular. Think most NWN forum ppl would follow new stories.  It not matter how many post either.  Even much later to post story is handy.  Just give new start idea then wait month or whatever time for next idea. Will give writers ideas anyway '>

 

Ummm... one question is about curse to use for this story.  Must use one of your list or a curse we think of?

               
               

               
            

[Legacy_werelynx]

               

This nice idea you have.  I like to write story since have idea but not for winning prize.

 

Ummm... one question is about curse to use for this story.  Must use one of your list or a curse we think of?

I hope it's not about cats.. that would be catastrophical.


You can think up your own curse.

 

BTW, today while commuting I thought up two more ideas - one for "Werelynx" (mary sue character type I guess) and one for Xnyl'e'rew (insane doppelganger). TR, would you like me to write them in free time, outside of contest? Curses would be..

   Spoiler
   

Failure of all self-enchantments and all curses/buffs cast on werelynx and insanity for the later. (he met cthulhu/other horror)

               
               

               
            

[Legacy_Tarot Redhand]

               

Go for it guys. You might like to start a new topic for it though because I intend to mark this one as finished once the prizes are handed out. That's so as to make sure that anyone coming across this one are not disappointed on reading it.

 

Just over 4 hours to go.

 

PS Xnyl'e'rew sounds like a cat sneezing. '> 

 

TR

               
               

               
            

[Legacy_Tarot Redhand]

               

Now closed. Winner being decided and then prizes being sorted out.

 

TR

               
               

               
            

[Legacy_KlatchainCoffee]

               

Eh... I was going to post here, but um.... it got out of hand and is now approaching a big pile of unrefined potentially very rubbish verbiage. And I missed the deadline. But so you know I at least tried and to give you the gist of it, I'll give you the brief summary:

 

 

A female deity falls in love with a city undertaker, Jeddun Filk, after the latter accidentally saves her avatar from being buried alive.  He’s actually a grumpy old geezer, very serious, stuffy and formal and with a complete lack of any sense of humour.  After he rejects her incredible boon of an offer to become her spouse for the length of his earthly life, she puts a very prickly curse on him: either he inadvertently tells jokes in bad taste at most inappropriate moments or, alternatively, whatever he utters is taken as a totally hilarious joke, no matter how serious he’s trying to be.

(What I actually wrote deviates quite a bit from above and unfortunately is coming out a lot more ‘gothic’ than ‘humorous’ in the end. I’m not sure I’d want to inflict that much of my drivel on the general public, but I may PM what I have so far, if you like).

 

               
               

               
            

[Legacy_Tarot Redhand]

               

You should have posted, because no matter how awful you think it is there were more game codes for me to give away than entrants. Anyway, pm your story to me and I'll take a look. BTW virtually anything overly dark can be rescued by having a snappy 1 liner for the last sentence.

 

TR

               
               

               
            

[Legacy_Tarot Redhand]

               

To illustrate that last point, here is something I came up with some time ago -

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<Opening Scene>

An old wild west town seen from a distance and with an elevated camera angle. Suddenly an explosion shatters the peace followed by a group of bank robbers making a speedy exit.

 

<cut to>

An isolated country road. Two men on horseback, quietly riding by. Suddenly they gallop off as the camera pans to one side and zooms in revelaing a twenty strong posse in swift pursuit.

 

<cut to>

Two galloping horsemen swerve off the road and disappear behind a stand of trees.

 

<cut to>

An American civil scene featuring dozens of cannon being fired.

 

<cut to>

Second world war dive bombers releasing their bombs.

 

<cut to>

A nazi rail gun firing followed by a first world war mega blast from a mine bomb being detonated.

 

<cut to>

A long shot of a nuclear explosion.

 

<cut to>

A close up of two blackened figures crawling out of a faintly glowing crater. One turns to the other and says...

 

TBC

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I'll let you know what they say and what the inspiration for this was, in a later post.

 

TR

               
               

               
            

[Legacy_Tarot Redhand]

               

OK, I've kept you waiting long enough so...

------------------------------------------------------

<cut to>

A close up of two blackened figures crawling out of a faintly glowing crater. One turns to the other and says...

 

"Gee Hayes, I sure wish the governor would let a few more people in on our little secret!"

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For those that don't get it, this is inspired by the opening credits to an old TV show called "Alias Smith and Jones". Click here to view them on youtube.

 

TR